Regaining your family’s trust is arguably one of the most difficult parts of rebuilding your life after addiction recovery because you have no control over how they feel. But building back the trust of your loved ones is possible, you just have to remember that it is a process and that it takes time.
While you do have to make an effort with your family in terms of being honest and keeping the lines of communication open, perhaps the best thing you can do to get back their trust is to go about rebuilding your life, taking care of yourself, and getting the support you need.
Work Toward an Open and Honest Relationship
There’s a good chance that when you were using, you lied to your family, hid your addiction, and did everything you could to keep your secret safe. Now that you’re in recovery, it’s time to bring honesty and candor back into your relationships, because sharing and mutual involvement is what relationships are all about.
Not only will being honest with your family help them to trust you again, but you’ll also be able to share your hopes and fears, and get much-needed support from the people you love. Ideally, your loved ones will react to your honesty with appreciation, but if you’re having trouble finding healthy ways to share with each other, consider seeking the help of a family counselor.
Assume Responsibility for Your Life and Your Choices
Trust will come much easier if your family is able to forgive you, and while you cannot expect them to do so, you should certainly hope for it. But before you can ask for forgiveness from them, you must first accept responsibility for the choices you’ve made, acknowledge the pain you’ve caused, and apologize for hurting them. Understand that this process will take time and that you can’t assume that taking responsibility and apologizing for your actions will automatically heal all wounds.
Strive to Continue Improving
Recovery is all about rebuilding your life and taking back control, and you can do this by setting goals, having dreams, and working toward having a happy, healthy, and productive life. Attend meetings, join support groups, get therapy if necessary, work hard at your career and friendships, and work at building a life you’re proud of.
After recovery, it’s vital that you stay in touch with your loved ones and let them know what’s going on with you. Otherwise, old fears will take over, and they may assume the worst. The problem here is that even if you’re not using again if your loved ones suspect you are (even if it’s not warranted), this anxiety will interrupt their healing process and prevent your relationship from moving forward.
Call or text them every few days, get together for weekly family meals, and keep your family in the loop about what and how you’re doing. Tell them about the progress you’re making and how the meetings are going, and above all, just remind them frequently that you’re happy and healthy. And don’t be discouraged if you’re met with anger or resentment in the beginning—just remember that your loved ones are in pain and are still recovering from that.
Recovery from addiction takes time and effort, and this applies to the process of rebuilding your life and relationships as well. Regaining the trust of your family will be difficult, but it will happen, and it will become easier as your relationships get stronger and more time passes. Just remember to give your loved one’s time and space, and in the meantime, work on getting your life back on track, staying healthy, and staying clean. Call us today at 877-284-0353 to speak with an expert.